By Dr. Verlyn Fontaine Waterman
Blog | “Who Is She” Series
“Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
Matthew 18:21–22
This wasn’t a math lesson.
Jesus wasn’t giving us a tally to track offenses—He was offering us a posture. A lifestyle. A sacred rhythm of release.
Forgiveness, He was saying, is not an event. It’s a way of being.
And sometimes, it must be done again… and again… and again.
Even for the same person. Even for the same wound.
When Forgiveness Feels Like Too Much
This became painfully real for me after years of betrayal, disappointment, and humiliation from someone I once trusted.
It wasn’t new pain—it was familiar pain.
Pain that echoed with memory. Pain that knew my name.
I had forgiven before. I had let go.
But this time? I was tired. Done.
Not hateful—just exhausted. And so, I fell silent.
Emotionally numb. Spiritually shut down.
I told God, “I can’t do this anymore.” And I meant it.
Then one morning, in the sacred hush of twilight, I heard it:
“Forgive.”
I whispered back, “What?”
The response came again. Soft. Gentle. But firm.
“Seventy times seven.”
Tears welled up—not from strength, but from surrender.
God wasn’t ignoring my pain. He was addressing it. At the root.
Forgiveness wasn’t being asked for the sake of the offender—it was being offered for my sake.
For my healing. For my freedom. So I obeyed.
Not because I wanted to. Not because it felt fair. But because obedience mattered more than my ego. Because my healing was tied to heaven’s instruction—not my emotions.
And in that moment, I let it go. Not because it didn’t hurt anymore— But because it no longer had permission to control me.
Why Is Forgiveness So Hard?
Because some betrayals wound at the soul level. Because some rejections reawaken ancient voids. Because sometimes, you’ve forgiven—and it still hurts.
And when the sting resurfaces, we wonder:
“Did I really forgive?”
“Why does it still feel fresh?”
The truth is—forgiveness is a process. For soul-deep wounds, it’s a daily declaration. You forgive until the memory loses its sting. Until the wound becomes wisdom.
What Forgiveness Is—and What It’s Not
Spiritually, forgiveness is an act of obedience.
It’s letting others go free, not because they earned it—but because God released you first. (Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 6:14–15)
Psychologically, forgiveness is the decision to release the grip of bitterness. It’s choosing not to rehearse the pain over and over in your mind. It frees emotional energy trapped in trauma—and reroutes it toward healing.
Metaphysically, forgiveness is a spiritual frequency. It disentangles your soul from the energetic residue of the offense. It says, “I choose to live above the vibration of hate.”
Forgiveness Is For You
It doesn’t excuse abuse. It doesn’t erase memory. It doesn’t say, “What you did is okay.”
It says:
I choose not to be stuck in what you did.
I choose not to carry your offense in my body.
I choose to be whole.
Forgiveness isn’t letting someone off the hook—It’s taking yourself off of their hook.
Scripture Reminders
“Forget the former things… Behold, I will do a new thing.” — Isaiah 43:18–19
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” — Luke 23:34
“Be kind… forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:31–32
“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” — Colossians 3:13
“…Forgive… so that Satan might not outwit us.” — 2 Corinthians 2:10–11
You Were Never Made for Bitterness
You were made for glory. You were designed to radiate light. You were created to carry peace, not poison.
Forgiveness is how you reclaim your divine identity. It’s how you rise.
It’s how you become… her—The woman who refuses to be ruled by wounds.
A Closing Prayer: A Declaration of Release
“I choose to forgive—
Not because they deserve it,
But because I refuse to be imprisoned by pain.
I release the betrayal, the abandonment, the offense.
I untie the cord between my soul and that event.
I retrieve my power.
I reclaim my voice.
I realign with my divine identity.
Today, I choose peace.
Today, I choose freedom.
Today, I choose life.”