By Dr. Verlyn Fontaine Waterman | Who Is She! Blog
There comes a sacred turning point in every woman’s life—a moment when the noise around her no longer merely irritates, it suffocates. The opinions of others, the emotional demands, the unspoken expectations—they swirl like a relentless storm. But then, by divine mercy, the winds grow still. A holy silence settles in. And in that stillness, clarity descends.
That is the moment she chooses herself.
For years, I lived in pieces—fragmenting my soul to fit into rooms I was never called to occupy, silencing my truth to protect fragile egos, and offering my essence to those unequipped to carry it. I named it love. I baptized it as loyalty. I called it sacrifice. But deep within, I was slowly vanishing—losing sight of the woman I was divinely crafted to be.
I did not know then what I know now: that true loyalty begins within, and any love that demands your disappearance is not love at all—it is bondage dressed in intimacy.
The most liberating and sacred act I ever performed was to shut the door—not in hatred, not in rebellion, but in reverence. I closed the door on toxic entanglements, on self-betrayal, on performative peace. It was not an act of ego, but one of spiritual preservation. It was the reclamation of what trauma tried to bury, what silence tried to suffocate, and what misplaced loyalty tried to auction off.
That day, I didn’t just choose myself—I returned to myself.
And in that return, I encountered a freedom I had only prayed for:
Not a loud, external kind of freedom, but a quiet, holy release that whispered to my spirit,
“You are already enough. You always were.”
I stopped living for the applause and started living in alignment.
I stopped dimming my light to soothe others’ insecurities.
I stopped exchanging my voice for conditional affection.
I came to know this truth deeply:
My worth is not up for negotiation. My voice is not disposable. My presence is not optional.
When I chose myself, I was not being selfish—I was being sanctified.
I was not elevating ego—I was honoring essence.
And in that revelation, I heard the echo of divine truth resonate within me:
“I AM because I Am.” (Exodus 3:14)
This is not arrogance. It is identity—the sacred alignment with the God who formed me in His image and called me very good. It is the awareness that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), intentionally fashioned for such a time as this.
Choosing yourself is not a rejection of others—it is the refusal to reject God’s image in you. It is choosing not to shrink for the comfort of others who fear your expansion. It is honoring the temple that carries divine breath.
Dear sister,
Your freedom begins where self-betrayal ends.
Your power begins where you stop negotiating your peace.
Your healing begins where you choose truth over tolerance.
You are not too much. You are not a mistake. You are not asking for too much by simply being who God called you to be.
So I urge you:
Walk in your worth. Guard your sacred space. Choose you. And keep choosing you until it no longer feels revolutionary—but natural.
Because you are everything God designed you to be.
Whole. Worthy. Woven in glory.
Reflection Prompt:
When was the last time you truly chose yourself?
What relationships, habits, or beliefs must you release in order to reclaim your peace, your power, and your presence?
Lovingly,
Dr. Verlyn